Here is a breakdown of the events of a particularly exciting day at Lake Dunmore, Summer 2015...
My mother in law, Betsy, and I take a walk down to the lake. (The lakefront is a 5 minute walk from the houses). We have some family coming in that day, and everything gets kind of nuts when this happens. Betsy and I bring down some rope and a new anchor for the Yellow House float. (The floats have a history of coming unanchored and floating down the lake....)
I notice one of the floats is missing.
Betsy and I locate the missing float - which is trapped by some trees down the shore.
I call Alex from my precious iPhone. I tell him to come down. I ask him to bring FOUR things: my swimsuit, his swimsuit, sunscreen, and beer. It is important that we get the float out and ready for guests - swimsuits and beer are totally necessary for this!
Betsy goes up to the house to take care of the kids .
Alex comes down to help retrieve the float. I look in the bag he brought down. It contains almost everything I told him to bring - my swimsuit, beer, sunscreen... BUT what it doesn't have is HIS swimsuit. In place of his swimsuit is a similarly colored SHIRT! (in his defense, he IS color blind - I'm not sure how this relates to a shirt as opposed to a swimsuit, but I digress...)
Alex and I successfully retrieve the float, through a combination of swimming and kayaking. We pull it out to its designated area, and attach new anchor and rope. Yay!
Beer is had by all (except the kids, of course).
Betsy comes down to lake with the kids. Um....yay?
The kids want to come to the float. To be with me. Yay... (kind-of?)
Alex kayaks back to the dock from the float and hands the kayak over to Alena. Alena kayaks herself and Aidan to float. Yay! She can kayak! By herself! Parenting success!! I can't tell you how proud I was of her!
Alena and Aidan spend a total of three minutes on the float with me, and then decide that they want to kayak more. At the time, it seemed like a great idea. I mean, they made it out to the float didn't they?
Alena and Aidan attempt to paddle to our other float - maybe 10 yards away. Before they take off in the kayak, I tell them not to paddle past the floats, into the middle of the lake - it could be dangerous out there...
Alena kayaks halfway to the other float. She does wonderfully. I am so proud of my girl! But then she paddles two inches past the floats. Literally - TWO INCHES.
She panics. She starts to scream in her panic. She senses imminent danger. After about two minutes of this, Aidan joins her in her screaming panic. They are both completely hysterical. Their screams can be heard for miles.
(They are totally safe. They both have life jackets on and are only about 10 yards from shore. I could swim to them if I wanted to.)
I am laughing hysterically on the float (and trying to get the kids to calm down - like any good mother of the year would do). I shout to Alex "Get my phone!!! Take pictures of this!!!" Alex proceeds to take out my iPhone and take pictures of our hysterical children. I am still laughing... (and in my defense, so is he...)
A passing pontoon boat notices our small hysterical children in the kayak. They float by.
The Pontoon People come back to aid our small screaming children. I am totally serious when I say their screams can be heard for miles...
The Pontoon People turn around, float over to the kids, and ask them if they need help.
Alex tells them they are fine. They don't believe him because of the screaming. The children insist on being "saved" by Pontoon People.
Pontoon People "rescue" screaming children and tow them to shore.
Alex thanks them.
Meanwhile, I am still laughing hysterically on the float.
Alex takes Alena and Aidan our of the kayak, and kayaks himself back to me (on the float, where I am still laughing). He has my iPhone in his pocket. Before he leaves the dock, I shout "don't capsize and destroy my phone!!!"
Alex makes it safely to the float. We have a lovely five minutes to ourselves before it's time to go back up to the house to make dinner. I am tired out from all the laughing, and don't want to get back in the icy cold water.
I say to Alex, "we should kayak back together!!" Yes, in hindsight, it was a bad idea for two adults to kayak in a one person kayak - I know I am small, but not THAT small....
We have car keys, towels, sunblock, and my iPhone. Not to mention that since Alex brought a shirt instead of his suit, he is in jeans, shirt, and keens...
Alex gets in first, with all of the stuff. I get in next, on his his lap...
I begin paddling.
I paddle ONCE.
Then we capsize.
Alex, in jeans and shoes, swims back to the float. I pull the kayak back to the float. I collect towels and sunscreen from lake.
I start yelling... "My iPhone!!!! OMG!!!!! My phone!!!! PANIC!!!! SAVE MY PHONE!!!!!!"
When Alex successfully swims back to the float he promptly lays out the car keys and phone....
Together, we empty the water from the kayak. Alex paddles to the dock, runs up to the house to attempt to save phone and key fob with rice. (This is not an easy thing to do in wet jeans and shoes. It is not a short walk, and there is a big hill, it is very steep...)
I swim back to the dock.
In the meantime, the kids have watched this all transpire from their perch on the dock - where they have been since their epic kayak journey. They are laughing HYSTERICALLY at their idiot parents... Karma???
Parents of the year. Right here. Yep, that's us....